Highland Square’s retail district got a welcome boost yesterday, with the opening of the new store, Sweat Shop. The store bills itself as an alternative to the fair trade practices of Highland Square mainstay The Market Path.
Store owner, Brad Maxwell explains, “we looked at what the Market Path was doing as a fair trade market. We said to ourselves, okay that’s a pretty good idea, but how can we do that while maximizing profits and, more importantly exploiting people.” The answer came as Sweat Shop opened it’s doors at 11 am yesterday.
“What we do here is just pile up a lot of worthless, cheaply made crap on our shelves. We really don’t care what we are selling as long as we get it really cheap, preferably from a third world country. Then we mark it up, generally by about 800 or 1000 per cent. Then you come in and buy it. Sometimes we might purposely over ring you,” Maxwell continued. “We also have employees that will go around the store as you’re shopping and attempt to pickpocket you. Then in turn, we’ll buy more cheap crap with what we steal from you and keep the cycle going. We are just awful, really awful. Look here. This is Chinese toothpaste. It’s basically poison. Five bucks a tube! We make Wal Mart look like Goodwill.”
When asked how he thought Sweat Shop would fit in in the tight knit Highland Square neighborhood, Maxwell was dismissive. “Fitting in and being part of the (airquotes) community isn’t really part of our agenda. To be quite honest, we have a five year plan that involves us putting all of the other shops out of business, making W. Market St. a toll road and turning the library into a Hooters.”
-DPI
