W. Market St. Fairlawn 8:00AM
Amid little fanfare, the long awaited Highland Square grocery store finally opened it’s doors Wednesday morning. Acme CEO, Steve Albrecht presided over a sparsely attended ribbon cutting at the W. Market Street Acme #1 location, which has actually been in operation for well over 70 years. “We have been trying for years to find a solution to the Highland Square grocery problem and, little did we know that the answer was right under our nose the entire time,” Albrecht said while holding a pair of giant novelty scissors and standing next to a life-sized cardboard cutout of LeBron James. “Come get your groceries, assholes!,” he added. “Come get your organic bananas! Come get your hippie cock!!!”
-DPI 5/26
